A 'Big' Star
by mockingbirdcries
Summary: What happens if Rachel didn't have that strong handle on her life that everyone thought she did? Who could save her from bullies, slushies, and herself.


She stood there staring in the mirror. _You want to be a star? Ha. That's funny Rachel those rolls say otherwise. No one wants a hungry hippo on Broadway they will take one look at your blubber and ask you why you are standing in front of them. They may even send you back into the ocean WHALE. This is why you have no friends everyone is embarrassed by your body. That's why Finn wants Quinn she's skinny and pretty unlike you!_

Rachel knew what she had to do now. She went in the bathroom and locked the door although no one was ever home. Her dads were always on some business trip. She leant over the toilet and stuck her fingers down her throat deeply and violently, and upchucked nothing but the 3 orange slices she ate that morning. _That's it Rachy your getting there. You are lucky you have someone like me to help you. With me your dreams will come true. I am your only friend Rachy. _

Rachel then made her way to the treadmill and put it on the strength setting and felt an all too familiar pain shoot up her legs. _You deserve this Rachel this pain is your punishment from this world that would be so much better without another tubby. I think you're fatter than Quinn when she was pregnant how sad… how pathetic. _Her legs moved faster now, and her eyes glazed over with some sick, twisted dream. She got over the treadmill and wobbled a little. She felt lightheaded but she loved it because it told her she did a good job. She was getting closer; getting closer to being perfect.

She grabbed some water and drank up. She then puked again and again until she felt her body could no longer take it. She then crawled into the shower to get ready for another day of school. She saw the shine of the razor. She pressed it on her stomach deepening past cuts. She watched as the cold red trickled down, and saw such beauty in what she had done. She then dressed in one of her animal sweaters to hide her blubber, and her cuts. She put on her mask of a smile and pretended like she was confident. No one could see through her. _No one can see through you Rachel because no one cares about gigantic fat people like you. _

She got to school to be met with Finn the guy she admired so much. He looked so cute with his awkward smile as he walked up to Rachel. "Quinn says we can no longer talk not even in Glee," and with that he then threw a bright blue slurpee right into her face.

And as many times as she had been slurpeed this one hurt the most because it was by someone she trusted, and helped out so many times. It was by someone who she loved. She felt the blue mess seep its way into her lips. _How many calories are in this thing? Quick puke it up before it adds to your thunder thighs! _

And when she walked to the bathroom she locked the door. She chose a stall leant over and puked. But nothing was really coming up except for stomach acid and yet she didn't care. She looked in the mirror before she left in not an animal sweatshirt but a baggy sweatshirt. She didn't see the red, teary eyes from being so slept deprived, and from the constant being sick. She couldn't see how much thinner she already looked, or how her hands trembled just a bit. _Look at that! Look at that whale I'm surprised that there isn't an earthquake when you walk! _

Rachel couldn't take these horrible words the voice would always dish to her, and began to cry. _Baby. Pathetic baby. That's all you are Rachel. _

"I know," Rachel replied to the voice.

She sounded so broken. She looked so broken. She unlocked the door when she got herself as together as she could, and went straight to class. She was late. She was never late.

"Hey Rach nice of you to join us," Mr. Schue taunted.

"Sorry Mr. Schue," She said not even looking up.

"Hey hot Jewish princess why are you late?" Puck questioned.

"Don't worry about it Noah," Rachel responded writing down to what Puck looked like gibberish figuring she was doing some Spanish assignment he was too lazy to do he left her be.

_That's it write down all those calories you eat porky. _

Rachel sighed when she saw what she wrote down.

"What's wrong," Puck asked concerned.

She didn't respond she didn't even look up.

He grabbed her chin and forced it upward to look him in his eyes. He wished he hadn't. He then saw how broken she was, and how her bones were protruding through her skin. "Rach…" He said sounding scared for her.

"What Noa- Puck?" He winced at her using his nickname.

He didn't know what was wrong with her, but she was saved by the bell or so she thought.


End file.
